


Honoka and Mari Hang Out

by EdamamiTomoe



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, nothing actually happens the two just dick around, random bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-02 13:50:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20276923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdamamiTomoe/pseuds/EdamamiTomoe
Summary: The two friends hang out.





	Honoka and Mari Hang Out

A lazy afternoon, with Honoka lounging in bed, looking at her phone, and Mari sprawled out on the floor, also looking at her phone. 

“Hey Honoka,” Mari asks, as she reaches for a box of pocky, “what are you up to?”

“Nothing.” Honoka responds dryly, continuing to stare at her phone, “You?”

“Same.”

The conversation dies there, and Mari starts focusing on eating pocky while scrolling through social media. Well, at least until she starts again. 

“Penis.” She says randomly, just to break the silence. 

“Yeah?” Honoka asks, completely unfazed by how out of place the random proclamation was, “What about it?”

“It sure is in existence.” Mari says as she chews a pocky into pieces with her molars. 

“I dunno Mari, are you sure about that?” Honoka pauses scrolling on her phone to look at some explicit images. 

“Shit, now I don’t know.”

“You can’t fool me, I know just as well as you that you do.”

“Damn, you got me there. Better go cry to my mom about that.”

“Damn right, you better. Or else I’ll do it for you.”

“Oh shiiiit.”

The entire exchange was done mostly in monotone, except for bits here and there that were spoken with just enough of sarcastic vigor to make it not monotone. It’s a pretty standard routine for the two to lay around saying nonsense at each other. It’s also routine for Mari to be chewing some pocky loudly while doing so. 

“Bonero.” Mari starts again with a new routine. 

“Is that the Italian word for it?” Honoka asks, rolling onto her side so Mari can’t see her phone screen as easily. 

“No,” Mari masticates another pocky with undue strength, “I just made it up.”

“Oh no, I can’t believe you.” Honoka says once again in monotone, as she checks out the artist’s profile for more, “How darest thee jest in mine home.”

“How dare me indeediedood.” Mari mornch. “So despicable. Are you gonna tell your mom about it.”

“No, you are. And there’s nothing you can do about it, dood.”

As if pretending to be talking to Honoka’s mom, Mari says in a falsetto, “Oh no, I’m sorry Mrs. Kousaka, I have deceived thy daughter about the word for erection in Italian.”

“Wait no don’t do that.” Honoka says, not budging from her spot and not looking away from her phone, “Don’t talk to my mom about peni. Peni? Is that the plural for penis?”

“You can’t stop me, Honoka.” Crunch crunch goes a pocky stick. Then, again in a falsetto, “Punish me Mrs. Kousaka, I’ve been naughty.”

“Nooo.” Finally looking up from her phone, Honoka says, “She’s gonna hear you from downstairs if you keep doing that.”

“Good, she better.” That was a joke, and Mari stops doing her milf pursuit routine. 

Another moment of silence ensues as Honoka browses content on the internet and Mari consumes snack food items. When silence is broken again, it is this time by Honoka. 

HONOKA: love live sunshine  
HONOKA: its like super mario sunshine, but love live sunshine  
HONOKA: mario hara  
MARI: Mario and Ruiby.  
HONOKA: luigi wasnt in super mario sunshine  
MARI: Yeah I never said he is, I said Ruby is.  
HONOKA: shit u right  
MARI: Hell yeah I am, babyy.  
HONOKA: you are baby?  
MARI: I am now, what are you gonna do about it, huh?  
HONOKA: everything you can possibly imagine with ur tiny baby brain babyyy  
MARI: Oh that rules, babyyy.  
HONOKA: u rule babies?  
MARI: Yes, I am now the Queen of Babies.  
MARI: The Empress of Infants.  
MARI: The Dogaressa of Newborns.  
MARI: The Marchioness of Fetuses.  
MARI: The Sultana of Anklebiters.  
HONOKA: haha more like anklebi-turd  
MARI: Haha  
HONOKA: i love making jokes that are endowed with sense and meaning and purpose  
MARI: I bet you, dood.  
HONOKA: yeah you do

That segment ended as abruptly as it began, but it isn’t long before another begins. 

“Honoka, have you ever played Conker’s Bad Fur Day?” Mari asks, finishing the last of the pocky by bisecting it with her teeth. 

“Conqueror’s Bad Fur Day.” Honoka says without answering, finally exiting the artist’s profile. 

“Conqueror’s Frankfurter Day.” Mari pops a mochi into her mouth. 

“Conqueror’s Frankfarter Day.”

“Conqueror’s Frankenwiener penis.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Oh okay.”

And the conversation just ends there. For a few minutes, the two friends continues doing nothing, until Honoka gets bored enough she puts her phone away, and says,

HONOKA: D--> Se%ual interhorse.  
MARI: Yeah, sounds about right.  
HONOKA: we should engage in it  
MARI: Yeah, sounds about right.  
HONOKA: it sure does, my friend  
MARI: Who’s it and why are they doing my friend?  
HONOKA: why ARENT they doing your friend  
MARI: Good question.  
HONOKA: question so good it wins the monthly best employee award  
MARI: Who is its employer?  
HONOKA: ur MOM  
MARI: She does employ a lot of people.  
HONOKA: mari’s mom making jobs 2019  
MARI: Yeah, BLOWjobs.  
HONOKA: OHHH SICK BUUUURN  
HONOKA: can i ask her for one  
MARI: No.  
HONOKA: okay  
MARI: Semen blaster supreme 3000  
HONOKA: dollars  
MARI: That’s the scientific name for peepee.  
HONOKA: peepeenis  
HONOKA: call now and get ur very own today  
MARI: Call now and get owned today.  
HONOKA: fuckin pwned n00b lmao  
MARI: 1-800-PWN-NOOB  
HONOKA: 24/7 babee you know it  
MARI: 24/7 adult blaze it. 

The routine ends once again. This time, it leaves the two friends both bored of looking at their phones and lying down and doing nothing. So instead, Mari speaks up, “Hey Honoka, we should go get something to eat.”

“Yeah, we should.” Honoka replies, not moving.

“Yeah, we should.” Mari parrots her, not moving.

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah.”

The two says nothing for a bit, before they both gets up at the same time, and heads down to get something to eat.


End file.
